Primark Unveils “BudgetCoin” For Fast Fashion Fans

Cheap, cheerful, volatile.

By Sophie Malik – Satirical Markets Writer

From Bargains to Blockchain

Primark has always been the high street’s temple of affordability. Shoppers pile baskets with T-shirts, socks, and seasonal trends, often leaving with more than they planned. But according to viral rumours, the retail giant has launched BudgetCoin, a blockchain token pegged to fast fashion itself. Every bargain is allegedly minted as a tradable asset, turning cheap socks into speculative treasures.

A TikTok clip that sparked the frenzy showed shoppers scanning barcodes while their phones buzzed “BudgetCoin transaction confirmed.” The caption read: “Proof of Purchase.”

Shoppers in Confusion

Clips across Instagram showed bewildered customers. One student said, “I came for cheap jeans, not gas fees.” Another reel showed families cheering as their wallets displayed “Balance updated: +0.002 BudgetCoin.”

Street comedians joined the fun. A stand-up at Oxford Street cracked, “Primark has always been crypto—your shirt lasts as long as a meme.”

Fake or Real?

Polls revealed 61 percent believed the rumour. “Feels real,” one voter wrote. “Fast fashion already behaves like pump-and-dump.” Another countered, “Fake, but believable. Primark would definitely try it.”

That blend of parody and plausibility helped hashtags like #BudgetCoin and #ProofOfSock take off.

Meme Avalanche

Memes flooded faster than bargain hunters on a Saturday morning. One viral edit showed mannequins glowing with Ethereum logos. Another depicted price tags replaced by candlestick charts.

Parody slogans filled TikTok feeds:

• “Stake your style.”
• “Liquidity in leggings.”
• “Proof of bargain confirmed.”

Camden Market stalls quickly sold novelty tote bags printed with “I mined my hoodie.”

Top Comments from the Internet

• “Finally, socks are more volatile than Bitcoin.”
• “My jeans rugged before I washed them.”
• “Proof of purchase validated.”

Primark Responds

Company officials denied the rumour, insisting prices remain in pounds. But parody press releases filled the void. One fake statement read: “Every bargain deserves blockchain.” Another joked: “Validator consensus required at checkout.”

Even MPs got dragged into memes. A photoshopped clip showed Parliament debating BudgetCoin while subtitles read “Stakeholder since 2025.”

Why It Resonates

The rumour resonates because fast fashion already feels speculative. Clothes appear one season, vanish the next, and durability is anyone’s guess. BudgetCoin satirises this volatility, parodying how even bargains can be turned into assets.

An LSE economist quipped, “BudgetCoin parody works because fashion and crypto share hype cycles and disposability.” The line itself went viral, paired with looping Primark shopping bag gifs.

Satirical Vision of the Future

Imagine retail fully tokenised. H&M is launching TrendCoin. Zara is selling NFT jackets. Even charity shops offering Proof of Vintage certificates.

A parody TikTok circulates: a shopper crying as subtitles flash “Transaction failed: insufficient clout.” It racked up 600,000 views.

Customer Reactions

Primark fans embraced the joke. One student tweeted, “I bought socks and mined bankruptcy.” Another TikTok showed tourists chanting “Consensus achieved!” at the Oxford Street entrance.

By Sunday, parody posters lined shop windows, reading “Stake your bargain, earn rewards.” Shoppers queued for selfies more eagerly than for sales

The Bigger Picture

Behind the humour lies critique of consumer culture. Fast fashion thrives on overproduction, disposability, and endless sales. BudgetCoin satirises a system that already treats clothes as fleeting tokens, poking fun at how hype drives consumption more than quality.

Cultural critics argue the rumour resonated because it highlights society’s obsession with affordability and novelty. Primark is both loved for its prices and mocked for its impermanence—making it the perfect candidate for satire.

Conclusion

Whether Primark really launches BudgetCoin doesn’t matter. The rumour has already been stitched into London’s meme economy, turning socks and shirts into speculative satire.

So the next time you shop at Primark, don’t just grab bargains. Grab your wallet app. Because in 2025, even cheap clothes will come with gas fees.

By Sophie Malik – Satirical Markets Writer
sophie.malik@londonews.com