Starbucks Launches Pumpkin Spice Stablecoin in London

Every latte comes with seasonal volatility.

By Zara Khan – Satire & Markets Columnist

A Latte of Confusion

London’s autumn tradition has always been simple. Leaves fall, scarves come out, and Starbucks launches its Pumpkin Spice Latte. But this year, the seasonal favourite has gone digital. The company announced a new payment system tied to a “Pumpkin Spice Stablecoin,” or PSS for short. Customers can now load digital wallets to sip their way into financial speculation.

Starbucks insists the stablecoin is “pegged to the value of one latte,” ensuring inflation never touches the seasonal ritual. But critics argue that pegging anything to coffee is as stable as London’s weather.

Blockchain Meets Barista

Inside a Covent Garden branch, customers lined up with phones in hand. One student shouted, “Send me one PSS, I’m late for class!” while another joked, “Gas fees cost more than oat milk.”

Baristas looked overwhelmed. Instead of calling out names like “Sarah” or “Tom,” they now had to confirm wallet addresses. One viral TikTok showed a barista yelling, “PumpkinSpiceLover.ETH, your latte is ready.” The video quickly hit a million views, with captions like “Proof of Brew.”

Fake or Real?

As soon as the announcement hit, social media exploded with polls. Was Pumpkin Spice Stablecoin real or just a meme too good to be true?

On Instagram, 60 percent voted real. “It has to be,” wrote one user. “Britain will tokenize anything.” Another countered, “Fake, but I wish it were real. At least then my coffee would have some ROI.”

The uncertainty made the story spread even faster. For Gen Z, satire is easier to believe than official press releases.

Meme Avalanche

Within hours, the internet delivered. One meme showed a Starbucks cup charting like Bitcoin, with the caption “Pumpkin Spice to the Moon.” Another featured Big Ben decorated with coffee cups, reading, “London runs on PSS.”

Even Canary Wharf bankers joined the fun. One photo circulated of a trader sipping a latte during a meeting, with his Bloomberg screen showing Pumpkin Spice prices. The caption: “Seasonal volatility hedged.”

Top Comments from the Internet

• “Pumpkin Spice Stablecoin is more stable than the pound.”
• “I staked my latte for 30 days. Got brain fog instead of rewards.”
• “If this crashes, at least I’ll drown in whipped cream.”

The Economics of Coffee Coins

Starbucks claims PSS solves real problems. Instead of pricing drinks in pounds, customers can pre-load tokens to lock in value. But economists scoffed. “You are pegging money to a seasonal drink,” said one LSE professor. “When the season ends, so does the currency.”

Yet consumers seemed unbothered. For many, the token doubled as a badge of identity. Owning Pumpkin Spice Stablecoin meant joining a tribe, much like wearing an overpriced hoodie from a limited drop.

London Reacts

On Oxford Street, a group of influencers filmed themselves swapping PSS live. One declared, “This is cultural capital. If you are not holding PSS, you are not autumn.”

Nearby, sceptics rolled their eyes. A passerby muttered, “Imagine explaining to your landlord you can’t pay rent because all your money is tied up in lattes.”

Even pubs got in on the act. A Soho bartender tweeted, “We don’t take cash, we don’t take cards, but we might take Pumpkin Spice.”

Satirical Vision of the Future

Imagine Britain adopting food-backed stablecoins across the board. Greggs launches SausageRollCoin, Nando’s creates PeriCoin, and Pret offers FlatWhiteToken. Every lunch becomes an investment decision.

One viral parody ad imagined Starbucks creating a stakeholder program. Customers lock up Pumpkin Spice tokens for three months, earning “Extra Whip Rewards.” The slogan: “Financial indulgence, sprinkled with cinnamon.”

Conclusion

Whether Pumpkin Spice Stablecoin exists or not almost doesn’t matter. The idea has already brewed into a meme that Londoners cannot stop sharing. It reflects a generation’s willingness to laugh at the absurdity of money, coffee, and hype blending into one cup.

So the next time you sip your latte, remember. It might not just be pumpkin and spice. It might be the most volatile investment you will ever make.

By Zara Khan – Satire & Markets Columnist
zara.khan@londonews.com