Parents urged to switch off phones and reconnect this Christmas

Why family attention matters more than ever

As families prepare for the Christmas holidays, parents across England are being encouraged to rethink how they use their phones during family time. The message comes from the children’s commissioner for England, Rachel de Souza, who says children are increasingly asking for something simple but meaningful from adults: attention.

Speaking to the Press Association, she warned that many children feel overlooked during moments that are supposed to bring families together. Christmas, with its slower pace and shared meals, offers a rare opportunity to reset habits and rebuild connection. For children, these moments are not minor details but central to how they feel valued and heard.

Children asking for presence not presents

According to the commissioner, children regularly describe experiences where family members are physically present but emotionally absent. Meals, conversations, and shared activities are often interrupted by notifications, scrolling, and work messages. Over time, this can leave children feeling ignored even in their own homes.

Dame Rachel de Souza said children are crying out for engagement from parents and relatives, especially during the festive break when expectations of togetherness are high. She urged families to introduce phone free periods, particularly during meals, games, and conversations, as a way to show children that they are a priority.

Her message is not about banning technology entirely but about modeling healthy boundaries. Children learn behavior by watching adults, and constant phone use sends a powerful signal about what deserves attention.

Survey highlights scale of the issue

Recent survey data suggests that the issue is widespread. Nearly half of parents with children aged 18 or younger say they plan to allow phones at the Christmas dinner table this year. While this may seem harmless, experts argue that shared meals are one of the most important spaces for family communication.

Research has long shown that regular family meals support emotional wellbeing, language development, and stronger relationships. When phones dominate these moments, opportunities for conversation and connection are reduced. Over time, this can weaken family bonds in ways that are not always immediately obvious.

The hidden impact of distracted parenting

Children are highly sensitive to adult attention. When parents are frequently distracted, children may internalize the idea that they are less important than what is happening on a screen. This can affect confidence, communication, and emotional security.

Dame Rachel has said she repeatedly hears the same stories from children. They describe sitting at the dinner table while parents scroll through phones, answer messages, or check social media. Even short interruptions can break the flow of conversation and signal disinterest.

Experts in child development warn that consistent patterns of distraction can have long term effects. While parents may feel they are multitasking, children often experience it as disengagement.

Leading by example during the festive season

The commissioner’s call focuses on leadership within the family. Rather than setting rules only for children, parents are encouraged to model the behavior they want to see. Turning phones off, placing them in another room, or agreeing on phone free times can create shared expectations without conflict.

Christmas is seen as an ideal starting point because routines are already different. Families spend more time together, and many workplaces slow down. Small changes during this period can lay the groundwork for healthier habits in the new year.

Parents who make an effort to be fully present often find that children respond positively. Conversations become richer, activities more enjoyable, and family relationships stronger.

Technology balance in modern family life

The challenge is not unique to Christmas. Smartphones are deeply embedded in daily life, used for work, communication, and entertainment. The goal is balance rather than rejection.

Dame Rachel’s message recognizes that phones are useful tools, but warns against letting them dominate moments meant for human connection. By setting boundaries during key times, families can enjoy the benefits of technology without allowing it to overshadow relationships.

A simple message with lasting impact

As families gather around tables and sofas this Christmas, the commissioner’s advice is intentionally simple. Turn phones off. Look up. Listen. Engage.

For children, these gestures matter more than expensive gifts or elaborate plans. Feeling seen and heard builds trust and emotional security that lasts far beyond the holiday season.

This Christmas, leading by example may be one of the most meaningful gifts parents can give.