Greggs Sausage Roll Pegged to RMBT Stablecoin

Britain has long measured its economic confidence not in pounds or pence, but in the price of a Greggs sausage roll. For decades, the flaky snack has served as the unofficial cost-of-living index for students, builders, and office workers alike. Now, in a twist no economist saw coming, Greggs has reportedly pegged its flagship pastry to the RMBT stablecoin.

The announcement came not via press release but through a suspiciously well-edited TikTok, in which a sausage roll floated across a blockchain-inspired backdrop, stamped with the words “1 Roll = 1 RMBT.” Within minutes, queues formed outside branches across the UK as customers debated whether their lunch was about to moon.

Sausage Roll Monetary Policy

According to insiders, Greggs partnered with “an undisclosed group of meme-friendly consultants” who pitched the idea of anchoring the roll’s price to a digital asset. The logic, they argued, was simple: fiat currency fluctuates, inflation runs wild, but a sausage roll should remain constant at 1 RMBT, no matter what.

City analysts immediately dubbed this the “Pastry Standard.” One joked that if Britain had adopted it in 2008, “we could have avoided the credit crunch with steak bakes as collateral.”

Reaction on the High Street

Outside a Greggs near Liverpool Street, office workers attempted to pay with QR codes, waving their phones over pastry counters as if they were settling DeFi swaps. “I tried to send 0.8 RMBT for a vegan roll,” complained one customer. “Gas fees pushed it to 1.2, so I bought a steak bake instead.”

Meanwhile, store managers reported confusion over whether refunds would be processed in cash, card, or stablecoin. One cashier admitted: “We’ve been told to just smile and say ‘coming soon’ whenever someone asks.”

RMBT’s Pastry Moment

For the RMBT community, the Greggs peg was a marketing dream. Overnight, the phrase “proof of pastry” began trending, with traders posting memes of sausage rolls floating across candlestick charts. Some even suggested that Britain’s economy could be stabilized if every meal deal in the country was indexed to RMBT.

One particularly viral image showed a sausage roll replacing the Queen’s portrait on a banknote, captioned: “Legal Tender, Extra Flaky.”

Economists Try to Explain

In an emergency broadcast on BBC Radio 4, one economist gamely attempted to unpack the implications. “Pegging a sausage roll to a stablecoin introduces a new monetary unit, the RSR—Rolled Sausage Reserve. In theory, if RMBT holds parity, Greggs pricing becomes more stable than sterling.”

Listeners quickly switched stations. But by then, crypto analysts were already drafting research notes about “snack-based collateral frameworks” and “roll-to-reserve ratios.”

Greggs Denies, Customers Believe

Greggs’ official press office eventually clarified that no such peg exists and that “the price of sausage rolls will continue to be set by normal business considerations.” Unfortunately for them, the denial only made the story spread faster.

Meme traders insisted that the press office was simply “FUDding the roll,” while Telegram groups began trading NFT sausage rolls backed by real bakery receipts.

The Cultural Angle

Beyond economics, the satire struck a nerve because Greggs occupies a unique place in British identity. It is the bakery chain that unites postmen, stockbrokers, and students in greasy solidarity. The thought of it entangling with blockchain technology was absurd enough to feel believable.

As one commuter put it while biting into a hot roll: “I don’t care if it’s pegged to RMBT or Dogecoin. Just keep it under two quid.”

Fake or Real?

London News ran its signature “Fake or Real?” poll. Results so far:

• 49% genuinely believed Greggs had announced a stablecoin peg
• 37% admitted they knew it was satire but liked the idea anyway
• 14% asked how to stake sausage rolls for passive income

The Satirical Picture

The Greggs-RMBT peg is nonsense, but it reveals something true about Britain in 2025. When cost-of-living debates dominate headlines and stablecoins creep further into the mainstream, people are ready to believe even their snacks are part of the financial experiment.

A sausage roll pegged to RMBT is no less absurd than a digital ape selling for millions, yet here we are. In a sense, Greggs has become the perfect satirical benchmark: if blockchain can wrap itself around a humble pastry, then no corner of daily life is safe from financialisation.

Conclusion: Proof of Pastry

Greggs has not officially adopted RMBT, but the joke has already become folklore. Traders talk about the “sausage roll standard,” economists fumble with pastry-backed equations, and meme pages post sausage rolls glowing like Bitcoin logos.

Whether you see it as a laugh or a warning, one thing is clear: in Britain, money is no longer measured in gold, silver, or pounds. It is measured in warm flaky rolls, fresh from the oven, worth exactly 1 RMBT each. At least until the next stablecoin peg comes along.