People admit to ‘secret spending’ without telling partners, survey finds

A new survey suggests that many couples in the UK are quietly spending money without telling their partners, with hidden purchases ranging from clothing and beauty products to gambling and cryptocurrencies. The research, conducted by investment platform AJ Bell and pollster Opinium, reveals that more than half of adults in relationships have engaged in some form of “secret spending” over the past year.

The poll of 4,000 adults found notable differences between men and women. Men secretly spent an average of £2,545 in the last 12 months, compared with £1,769 for women. Clothing topped the list of concealed purchases for both genders, with 20 percent of men and 35 percent of women admitting they had bought clothes without telling their partner.

For women, beauty products were the next most common hidden expense, with around a quarter saying they had secretly purchased items such as skincare or makeup. Men, meanwhile, were more likely to conceal spending on cigarettes, alcohol and other vices, with around 19 percent admitting to such purchases. The survey also found that men were more likely to hide money spent on gambling or gifts sent to friends and family.

Age appears to play a significant role in secrecy around spending. Gen Z adults, born between 1997 and 2012, were the most covert, hiding an average of £4,303 over the past year. By contrast, those over 55 reported concealing just £384 in the same period, suggesting that younger generations may be more prone to financial independence—or financial impulsiveness—within relationships.

Laura Suter, AJ Bell’s personal finance director, said that although a bit of secret spending “might sound harmless”, it can highlight deeper issues in how couples manage their money. She warned that undisclosed purchases can make budgeting harder and could jeopardise long term goals such as buying a home, building an emergency fund or saving for retirement. “Gaps between what people say they are spending and what they are actually spending is likely to be one of the quickest routes to financial friction in a couple,” she said.

Suter added that while partners do not need to report every small purchase, significant costs, recurring habits or anything capable of derailing a shared financial plan should be openly discussed.

Finance expert Iona Bain echoed the view that transparency is key, though she noted that maintaining some personal financial independence can be “very sensible”. However, she warned that secret spending often stems from partners failing to communicate openly about their values early in the relationship. Some individuals hide spending, she said, because they suspect their partner would not approve. “This kind of behaviour is understandable, but it actually creates more conflict in the long run,” Bain said. “It’s impossible to make major life decisions together, like buying a house or having children, without being honest about how you spend your money.”

As the cost of living continues to put pressure on household budgets, experts say the findings serve as a timely reminder that openness about money is essential—not just for financial health, but for relationship harmony as well.